Love may indeed be lovelier the second time around, as the song says. Many second marriage couples and mature couples renewing their vows would agree. But what is the best way to properly capture the spirit of these celebrations?
Gone are the days when a young man propped a ladder up to his beloved’s window and burst forth in a poetic soliloquy before whisking her off to elope. However, even today there’s something to be said for the romance, secrecy and spontaneity of elopement. Elopement remains popular for older and second marriage couples for a variety of reasons. With the rising cost of weddings, elopement is also gaining in popularity among younger people.
A vineyard in summer, a beach at sunset, a glen in the midst of towering trees or an exciting cosmopolitan city—all are great destination choices for a wedding. Many couples choose locations with romantic associations, such as where they grew up or became engaged. Others choose wedding destinations for the fun or scenic backdrop they offer. Favored wedding destinations in the U.S. include the Sonoma-Napa Wine Country, and Hawaii. Las Vegas tops the list as the most chosen destination wedding site. From elopements to grandiose affairs of 200 guests, destination weddings have tripled in popularity in the last three years.
What we once considered to be proper wedding behavior was actually held over from the Elizabethan and Renaissance eras. Many traditions have gone out of style in the past thirty years. The following variations on wedding civilities are better suited to today’s lifestyle and varied personal circumstances.
Around the start of this millennium, there began a trend toward simpler weddings with increased focus on family and friendship. And, after investing so much time, energy, and money in their nuptial celebrations, why shouldn’t couples want more time to savor the occasion with family and friends?
Gold wedding rings, tiered cakes with icing, the long, white gown—all are traditions we associate with modern weddings. However, these traditions have roots in practical, romantic and odd ancient customs.
For example, the sweet, iced wedding cakes served today spring from more humble, flat “grooms-cakes” made by a family member. As young unmarried girls left the reception, they took a piece of grooms-cake displayed on the table and wrapped in a piece of bridal veil. The single lady then placed the cake under her pillow at night and dreamed of her future groom!
Dowries no longer exist in our culture. Also long gone by the wayside is the old notion that the bride’s family is financially responsible for the entire cost of the wedding and reception. Having your parents bear the entire expense of a wedding and reception is not a birthright. Their contribution is a gift and, with the skyrocketing cost of weddings, is has become commonplace for both sets of parents and the bridal couple to share in this major expense.
When setting your wedding budget, start by asking what amount, if any, your parents are willing to contribute. They may wish to cover some, if not all, of the services and items on your list. Modern tradition still observes the following financial allocations.
Beautiful weddings don’t have to be costly. How much fun can it be to have a fabulous wedding and then worry how to pay off the debt? Anyone can have a lovely wedding within their means by setting aside some money, planning ahead and prioritizing their choices. These money-saving tips can also help you stretch your dollar, without sacrificing quality.
One of the biggest hurdles for parents planning a wedding is that thirty years may have passed since they last planned a wedding. To say things have changed in that time is an understatement. Back then, brides were often unaware of the costs and the mother of the bride often made all the plans.
To give perspective, I often tell couples and their parents to consider the cost of medium-priced cars then and now. Then, a car cost about $3,500, the same as the cost of a wedding. Today, a wedding with all the trimmings still costs the same as a mid-priced new car, which can be around $25,000 to 50,000, depending on the locale.
A Dream Wedding has been recognized in the Wedding Wire's 2012 Bride's Choice Awards.
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